


ocean waves in the sun

by whochanwoo



Series: times jeno thinks jaemin lives up to his "special friend" title [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Drabble, Falling In Love, M/M, Poetic, Sad, Sad Lee Jeno, Soft Lee Jeno, Well I try, jeno bby ily, just... argh?!, tbh idk if its angst but u tell me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25942345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whochanwoo/pseuds/whochanwoo
Summary: He isn’t interested in people, doesn’t mind whether he gets along with someone or not. Jeno doesn’t mind. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.Jaemin, do you like me?
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: times jeno thinks jaemin lives up to his "special friend" title [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838488
Comments: 5
Kudos: 56





	ocean waves in the sun

**Author's Note:**

> :) inspired by awk brothers when the MCs said "jeno isnt interested in ppl"

_ For you, I’d consider crossing oceans of criticism.  _

Jeno catches Jaemin’s gaze from a distance away. He wants to smile. He wants to stare a little longer, but there are lights flashing, sweat dripping, eyes watching. Jeno looks away with a hint of a smile blooming upon his lips. 

_ I’d only consider it.  _

When it’s quiet in the dorms, and Jeno thinks he’s feeling a little empty after he falls dead in a game, the overthinking starts. Jeno doesn’t know why but his head wanders so much. He asks himself questions he shouldn’t. He asks himself questions he has no answer to.

_ Jaemin, what do you think about me?  _

Jeno’s never one who seeks for words or validation. Being an idol, he’s used to words and validation falling at the tip of his shoes every second of every day. So he’s never asked. He’s never really had any reason to sit and think about the people closest to him. 

He isn’t interested in people, doesn’t mind whether he gets along with someone or not. Jeno doesn’t mind. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. 

_ Jaemin, do you like me?  _

Jeno lays on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. In his peripheral vision, Jaemin’s bike hangs on the wall. Jeno feels small all too suddenly. He feels so small, so insignificant, so empty. He finally realises just how small he is in a universe so big and mysterious. And what’s smaller is his heart, beating in his chest, pumping blood into his veins. 

He places a hand up on his chest, where his heart is, and sighs into the silence. 

_ Jaemin, do I like you?  _

Closing his eyes, Jeno feels sleep invade his mind. It calms him down, makes him feel like a lonesome, broken shell, swaying in the ocean as it carries him ashore. Jeno’s exposed, drying in the furious nightly cold. When the Sun comes up, Jeno doesn’t know if he’d lay bare in the sand, or get carried in much rougher waves. 

In his sleep, he’s happy. He’s smiling, playing with the kids, and then he sees his family. But there’s no Jaemin. In his sleep, he doesn’t think anything of it, but once his eyes blink open, Jeno misses Jaemin all too much. 

There’s no reason to wake this early. He’s only been sleeping for 5 hours, but Jeno can’t go to sleep again. So he lays there in the morning cold, shivering just slightly. His hands are rigid, and his fingers are freezing, but Jeno refuses to move. He thinks of Jaemin again, just one room away, and Jeno wants to smile.

Instead, he cries. Ocean waves sparkle in the Sun just as his tears glimmer in the darkness of his room. Jeno recalls whatever memory he’s had of the ocean, and he revels in pain from being slammed off of a surfboard. He revels in a certain unnamed emotion blooming within him when he sees Jaemin laughing so openly in the ocean. 

Like a tide diminishing eventually, Jeno hopes this certain unnamed emotion dissipates enough for him to pretend it was never there in the first place. Sniffling, Jeno wishes his memories of the ocean weren’t so beautiful. 

_ For you, I’d gladly cross oceans of searing loathing.  _

Jeno silently chokes on a sob.

_ But what would you do for me?  _

_ What are your memories of the ocean like?  _

_ Do you have me in them?  _

_ Do you see me?  _

_ Do you see me smile and have your heart bloom in happiness?  _

_ You love me, but are you in love with me?  _

_ What do you see, Jaemin?  _

_ When you saw me that day standing with the ocean raging behind me. _

_ What were you thinking of when you brushed sand off of my cheeks?  _

_ I thought of you, Jaemin.  _

_ Do you think of me?  _

_ Do you dream of me, Jaemin?  _

Jeno relents to this unnamed emotion in his heart, pulsing in his blood, coursing through his veins. 

_ Even if you see me, it’s never the same way I see you. _  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i,,, cried when writing this. like, full on sobbed. i have an overly imaginative mind which means i can picture stuff rlly clearly and jeno crying alone in his room bcos hes in love with jaemin but will never have his feelings reciprocated set me the fuck off. jaemins straight (in this fic) so no he'll never like jeno back but we have all been there. 
> 
> im sorry kids kdjdjfjdj
> 
> my [IG](https://www.instagram.com/warmdaelight/) | [TWT](https://twitter.com/jenoryy)  
> idm u screaming at me i know i deserve it kdjdnfn also, dont hesitate to leave comments ❤️


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